Actually, speaking of ordinary pebbles, that could
accurately describe how I have felt at times this week. Being a
perfectionist and a missionary is really, really hard. Because
perfection, for me, is like another realm. Drawing from Freestone's love
of Doctor Who, it's like perfection lives on another planet and I have
to access to the...TARDIS. (Is that even right? I don't know. I told you
I wasn't perfect.) Anyway, I know deep down that because Jesus Christ
is perfect and loves and changes us perfectly, I don't need to be
perfect right now. I have to be patient with myself and have hope. Something I am also not perfect at ;)
But
the scriptures "And we lived after the manner of happiness" and "Adam
fell that men might be, and men are, that they might have joy," have
really helped me. The people in the Book of Mormon were not perfect. In
fact, the writers often mention their "weakness in writing". But many of
them still lived after the manner of happiness. Not the manner of
perfection. They aren't robots! They are children of God, like us, who
make mistakes. Heavenly Father's work and glory is OUR progression, the
betterment of the individual.
I also read a scripture about
having the faith to move mountains and noticed a note I added months
ago: "I don't think Heavenly Father is so interested in moving
mountains. I think He is interested in moving us to repentance."
Heavenly
Father cares about our spirits. He doesn't care about our
accomplishments, wealth, outward appearance, or what others think of us.
He sent us here to BECOME. And He sent His Son to show us how. And
while we believe in fiercely living the teachings of His Son, and in
giving everything to follow his example, Heavenly Father knows it will
take time. And He has given us that time. It is a gift. It is a gift to
repent, to struggle, to have questions, and to learn. Like the Book of
Mormon prophets, the fact that I am "as the dust of the earth" is often
very apparent. We really are very humble, insignificant, dependent
beings. But we are also divine, cherished by God, and capable of
becoming like Him. So I am still figuring out that contradiction, or
those seemingly opposite identities. And I am okay with that! Whenever I
reach outside my sphere of understanding, I still know God loves me. It
helps me stay centered, faithful, and happy. We are living right now,
and if we follow Christ, it is after the manner of happiness. I am
thankful Christ "reaches my reaching." He really does. I love him.
Happy Fourth of July!
No comments:
Post a Comment