Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Happy 4th

Hong Kong is still a dome of activity and cultures that traps heat and makes it feel like thousands of warm butterflies hug you when you walk outside. So, although I admire the city through sweat and squinted eyes, it is beautiful nonetheless! This week included lots of those little diamonds that Elder Uchtdorf speaks of. Those diamonds that hide in ordinary pebbles.
Actually, speaking of ordinary pebbles, that could accurately describe how I have felt at times this week. Being a perfectionist and a missionary is really, really hard. Because perfection, for me, is like another realm. Drawing from Freestone's love of Doctor Who, it's like perfection lives on another planet and I have to access to the...TARDIS. (Is that even right? I don't know. I told you I wasn't perfect.) Anyway, I know deep down that because Jesus Christ is perfect and loves and changes us perfectly, I don't need to be perfect right now. I have to be patient with myself and have hope. Something I am also not perfect at ;) 
But the scriptures "And we lived after the manner of happiness" and "Adam fell that men might be, and men are, that they might have joy," have really helped me. The people in the Book of Mormon were not perfect. In fact, the writers often mention their "weakness in writing". But many of them still lived after the manner of happiness. Not the manner of perfection. They aren't robots! They are children of God, like us, who make mistakes. Heavenly Father's work and glory is OUR progression, the betterment of the individual. 
I also read a scripture about having the faith to move mountains and noticed a note I added months ago: "I don't think Heavenly Father is so interested in moving mountains. I think He is interested in moving us to repentance." 
Heavenly Father cares about our spirits. He doesn't care about our accomplishments, wealth, outward appearance, or what others think of us. He sent us here to BECOME. And He sent His Son to show us how. And while we believe in fiercely living the teachings of His Son, and in giving everything to follow his example, Heavenly Father knows it will take time. And He has given us that time. It is a gift. It is a gift to repent, to struggle, to have questions, and to learn. Like the Book of Mormon prophets, the fact that I am "as the dust of the earth" is often very apparent. We really are very humble, insignificant, dependent beings. But we are also divine, cherished by God, and capable of becoming like Him. So I am still figuring out that contradiction, or those seemingly opposite identities. And I am okay with that! Whenever I reach outside my sphere of understanding, I still know God loves me. It helps me stay centered, faithful, and happy. We are living right now, and if we follow Christ, it is after the manner of happiness. I am thankful Christ "reaches my reaching." He really does. I love him. 
Happy Fourth of July!

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